Laziness is a sleep deprived means of starting my day. It's nearly ten, and I'm just brewing my first pot of the day. Hopefully, I don't burn myself eating a poptart.
Anyway, my grandpa J would have been 96 today if he hadn't passed back when he was 75. 21 years ago, today was a Sunday and I had the title of elder bestowed upon my being.
Church leaders needed me to fill a seat that was problematic to do so without me due to bylaws. I was to serve a year on the active session, but deaths made my election to another such term necessary.
It was a chaotic time, which impacted my current lack of church attendance.
Certain things I miss, but I know that things end for a reason; each day is a fresh start.
Showing posts with label why I believe in a Divine Entity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label why I believe in a Divine Entity. Show all posts
Friday, January 23, 2015
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
thankful
There are times as a parent when a sense of dread takes hold to the point that panic is not an option. Being calm is hard in such times. I had a moment today that I would consider a miracle, for bad a thing happened without physical harm occurring. I am ultimately to blame, and I'm lucky to be able to forgive myself for my grievous mistake. I'm blessed with a loving family, and I will try not to take anything for granted.
Friday, April 25, 2014
meh of the day
Started a post about zombies and such but it disappeared when I opened another tab to check my email. Silly nook refreshed the page and it didn't keep. Maybe its a sign that I was wrong in my intentions? I'm not claiming divine intervention, but I did have the spark plug come undone while mowing my lawn yesterday as d napped. With the mower stopped, I checked on d and she had just awoken with fresh drops of tears starting.
I probably think about Jesus being crucified more than the average nonchurch going sort. Of course it has nothing to do with salvation, but that I have aching back, shoulders, wrists and hands. I have pains so that my family has a roof over its head and food on the table. I'm lucky to have a job that allows me to be with my kids during the day. Maybe I'll be a christian one day, but I'm not close to being there yet.
I probably think about Jesus being crucified more than the average nonchurch going sort. Of course it has nothing to do with salvation, but that I have aching back, shoulders, wrists and hands. I have pains so that my family has a roof over its head and food on the table. I'm lucky to have a job that allows me to be with my kids during the day. Maybe I'll be a christian one day, but I'm not close to being there yet.
Monday, April 7, 2014
End of XP support
Well, the day has come that I will cease to use a certain machine for blogging. Not sure what will replace it, but a tablet will probably be what it will be given my annoyance with MICROSOFT. Seeing that my internet has been slow and Cincinnati Bell has been no help, I am looking into new connectivity options as well.
Just as I'm in a good place with my contact with the outside world, I'm being forced to be reclusive at my peak times of social productivity. Meh. Guess it must be a sign that I should be prioritizing other matters, like my beautiful 3 month old daughter.
Maybe I need to start being more physically active and eating better until I have the means to fully embrace mindless elements of my various interests?
Just as I'm in a good place with my contact with the outside world, I'm being forced to be reclusive at my peak times of social productivity. Meh. Guess it must be a sign that I should be prioritizing other matters, like my beautiful 3 month old daughter.
Maybe I need to start being more physically active and eating better until I have the means to fully embrace mindless elements of my various interests?
Friday, January 10, 2014
Father of Three
Got home from the hospital today. J started having labor pain Tuesday evening, so we rushed to the hospital.
Our baby was breech and we had an appointment for a version Wednesday at 8:30. Baby was originally to be induced the 14th, but got moved up due to the breech factor. If the version failed then a C Section would have be undertaken, while if the version was successful the delivery would have been induced that evening.
J called her doctor's after hours number, but we left before they replied once we had J's mother over to watch K and B.
I knew it was serious once we got halfway to the hospital and J hadn't yelled at me during the entire drive.
We went straight to Labor and Delivery. Learned long ago that having a baby isn't a mater for the Emergency Department. We we got to L and D, J let them know she was in labor and our baby was breech. They quickly took us to a triage room. They quickly assessed that our baby was breech and that J was dilated 9cm. The doctor on call was not a regular with J's doctor's group, but seemed to be calm and sure of the course of action. They wheeled J off for an emergency C-Section and left me in a hallway with a cart containing our stuff.
A few minutes later, I heard my newest daughter's cries. A nurse came out and asked if I had a camera so she could take pictures for me. Shortly, the camera was in my hands with 20 pictures of my little bundle. I called and texted various family and friends as I waited in the hallway outside the operating room doors.
It was surreal to hold her. The nurse who took pictures for me brought her out in a bassinet. At 6lbs 7oz, D was so tiny compared to K and B who both tipped the scale at 8lbs. The nurse then had me follow her and the bassinet back to triage room 3, where I wheeled our stuff. I waited with my baby, seemingly alone. She didn't cry. She just looked around and did a little purr as she adjusted to breathing air.
I soon saw my father inlaw arrive at the front desk that was near triage, and he was so joyed. He asked about J, so I told him J was knocked out and they were sewing her up. I knew she was fine for the medical staff was looking at me and in a good mood. Though I had the lingering fear of A Farewell to Arms and was unprepared for a three night stay in the hospital starting Tuesday, I had read the What to Expect When You Are Expecting section regarding breech, version, C-sections and Emergency C-sections at J urging a few days earlier.
I was prepared for the being left behind moment. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect to have our baby born within a half hour of entering the hospital, but she was and I have the blurred memory of a half hour that seemed like an eternity which gives me pause at the wonder of all I take for granted.
Our baby was breech and we had an appointment for a version Wednesday at 8:30. Baby was originally to be induced the 14th, but got moved up due to the breech factor. If the version failed then a C Section would have be undertaken, while if the version was successful the delivery would have been induced that evening.
J called her doctor's after hours number, but we left before they replied once we had J's mother over to watch K and B.
I knew it was serious once we got halfway to the hospital and J hadn't yelled at me during the entire drive.
We went straight to Labor and Delivery. Learned long ago that having a baby isn't a mater for the Emergency Department. We we got to L and D, J let them know she was in labor and our baby was breech. They quickly took us to a triage room. They quickly assessed that our baby was breech and that J was dilated 9cm. The doctor on call was not a regular with J's doctor's group, but seemed to be calm and sure of the course of action. They wheeled J off for an emergency C-Section and left me in a hallway with a cart containing our stuff.
A few minutes later, I heard my newest daughter's cries. A nurse came out and asked if I had a camera so she could take pictures for me. Shortly, the camera was in my hands with 20 pictures of my little bundle. I called and texted various family and friends as I waited in the hallway outside the operating room doors.
It was surreal to hold her. The nurse who took pictures for me brought her out in a bassinet. At 6lbs 7oz, D was so tiny compared to K and B who both tipped the scale at 8lbs. The nurse then had me follow her and the bassinet back to triage room 3, where I wheeled our stuff. I waited with my baby, seemingly alone. She didn't cry. She just looked around and did a little purr as she adjusted to breathing air.
I soon saw my father inlaw arrive at the front desk that was near triage, and he was so joyed. He asked about J, so I told him J was knocked out and they were sewing her up. I knew she was fine for the medical staff was looking at me and in a good mood. Though I had the lingering fear of A Farewell to Arms and was unprepared for a three night stay in the hospital starting Tuesday, I had read the What to Expect When You Are Expecting section regarding breech, version, C-sections and Emergency C-sections at J urging a few days earlier.
I was prepared for the being left behind moment. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect to have our baby born within a half hour of entering the hospital, but she was and I have the blurred memory of a half hour that seemed like an eternity which gives me pause at the wonder of all I take for granted.
Monday, November 4, 2013
Carl Hiaasen's Bad Monkey
My beautiful better half, J, is why I believe in God. Not because she spouts about deep stuff, but rather because she tolerates an insufferable fool like me though my main contribution to our marriage is my being a lackluster father to our AMAZING children.
I met J in the most unlikely of all places when I was not remotely looking for love, let alone a soul mate.
J and I have enough in common to be agreeable to most things. True, we have grown closer in the years together that we're like a battery in a no-hitter, but I remain mostly daft about a number of rougher diamond qualities I may possess. I have attention issues where my priorities are aligned a skewed from what hers may be. She calls it laziness. I simply have a mental block with forwardness. My brain and body tend to linger in neutral too long between shifting towards action. Lazy seems to be a more deliberate act than what I feel my meandering is. Sure I am idle due to lack of motivation, but a lot of the time I get mentally bogged down by details. I piss my time away to avoid going forward. I lack confidence. If I have an inkling of doubt about something I am too quick to put said thing onto the back burner.
With that said, J has been a wonderful prod to push me past a few fears. I have a blame defect in I prefer to be free of blame. Willful ignorance is the key to my happiness, some days. Other days, I am consumed by my thoughts regarding minute details about things that are ultimately out of my control.
I started reading Bad Monkey at J's urging, but found I didn't like it on the Nook. She got the hardcopy of it and I read it in a few days(I'm in the middle of book I want to finish but can never find time, while I seem to only be able to listen to DAD IS FAT when I was carving pumpkins). BAD MONKEY is a must read. It's good in a Nero Wolfe mystery sort of way, but funny in a Denis Leary THE JOB, sort of way. Block is funny, but not funny like Carl Hiaasen.
Incidentally, looked up Carl Hiaasen's column and I am not impressed. Dude's commentary sounds like he's filled with douched bodily fluids of certain ideologues that lack a sense of humbleness. Also his pic from his column re-enforces this notion by his resembling Norm MacDonald of SafeAuto fame.
Where the heck is time going? I must be in a trance or something hypnotic for I feel like I'm missing days a lot of the time much like Billy Pilgrim coming unstuck in time. Maybe it's the isolated moments I have making my brain do a cruise control where I am like dolphin sleeping.
I met J in the most unlikely of all places when I was not remotely looking for love, let alone a soul mate.
J and I have enough in common to be agreeable to most things. True, we have grown closer in the years together that we're like a battery in a no-hitter, but I remain mostly daft about a number of rougher diamond qualities I may possess. I have attention issues where my priorities are aligned a skewed from what hers may be. She calls it laziness. I simply have a mental block with forwardness. My brain and body tend to linger in neutral too long between shifting towards action. Lazy seems to be a more deliberate act than what I feel my meandering is. Sure I am idle due to lack of motivation, but a lot of the time I get mentally bogged down by details. I piss my time away to avoid going forward. I lack confidence. If I have an inkling of doubt about something I am too quick to put said thing onto the back burner.
With that said, J has been a wonderful prod to push me past a few fears. I have a blame defect in I prefer to be free of blame. Willful ignorance is the key to my happiness, some days. Other days, I am consumed by my thoughts regarding minute details about things that are ultimately out of my control.
I started reading Bad Monkey at J's urging, but found I didn't like it on the Nook. She got the hardcopy of it and I read it in a few days(I'm in the middle of book I want to finish but can never find time, while I seem to only be able to listen to DAD IS FAT when I was carving pumpkins). BAD MONKEY is a must read. It's good in a Nero Wolfe mystery sort of way, but funny in a Denis Leary THE JOB, sort of way. Block is funny, but not funny like Carl Hiaasen.
Incidentally, looked up Carl Hiaasen's column and I am not impressed. Dude's commentary sounds like he's filled with douched bodily fluids of certain ideologues that lack a sense of humbleness. Also his pic from his column re-enforces this notion by his resembling Norm MacDonald of SafeAuto fame.
Monday, October 21, 2013
Atheists
I find the concept of atheists celebrating Thanksgiving as weird. Obviously, I find Christians celebrating Easter and Christmas weird, too, but at least they can say their reasons for celebrating are out of tolerance.
I can't say what I believe aside from that I believe that things happen for a reason and that I do not accept my death as a means to an end of my existence.
I can't say what I believe aside from that I believe that things happen for a reason and that I do not accept my death as a means to an end of my existence.
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