pressing reset and mental lapses of time

Most days I lose a few hours in the sense they are wasted idly, as far as I can gather. I'm not dazing or anything, or at least I don't think I'm thinking about anything.
Obviously, I'm an internet junky on various levels, but the internet makes life simpler, right?
I guess I could blame my mind being fragmented by having a five month old whose cries and cues are tripwires to my forward thinking kill switch. Nah. A third child does makes my mind think differently, but I was flawed before D. Actually, my mental lapses started before K was even on the way.
Speaking recently with a friend from the time before J, LSD, I got the notion I need to be challenged more to get de-lulled.
Just wish there were a reset button or something to simplify my being so I could be more efficient. I guess I have lot on my mind that I don't say aloud.
Had a texting spat with J yesterday. She's been mad that I didn't hang in the driveway while she washed our car when I got back from visiting my folks. B ran into my arms, while J didn't move. She ceased spraying the hose long enough to say she didn't know when I'd be home. I got home exactly when I said I would when I last spoke with her, so I figure she doesn't care enough to listen to anything I say. No idea why she thinks washing the car in the driveway is worthwhile considering I WORK AT A CARWASH AND GET THEM FREE, but that would imply that I could take the car to work. J thinks the blue cars will die on the road and leave her stranded, which means she hopes i get stranded, I guess.
AW I went inside the house and sat in the cold a/c of K's room and chilled at his laptop for a few moments. Driving three and a half hours alone on a humid day is not hard, but I had other things on my mind and just wasn't in the mood to stand in the driveway as J hosed down the car. She had D out there. I'd have hugged D, but I would have just put her back down to go inside and do the things one does after a significant drive. D was content in her bouncer. I missed my girls while I was gone. Sure D has a hole in her heart, but she's fine according to the cardiologist as long as she's comfortably eating and gaining weight.
My dad is probably dying. He's not been well for as long as J has known me, so she only knows my dad as the complete jerk he's been as he fights his illness. I sound dreadful, but his brain has warped because he's afraid of dying and is in constant pain. He's like a junky, I guess. He could be an extra in Schindler's List, he's so frail these days.