memory making

A thought occurred to me that when I am dead and gone my kids may have odd memories of me.  When I say "odd," I mean random idiosyncratic stuff. For example, I'm very picky about what fork I use when we have dinner. We have several flatware varieties in the drawer but I prefer ones we got from a dead woman's home. I also prefer using a fork over spoon for non-soup oriented meals. Is cereal considered soup? Anyways, they all use spoons for vegetables and rice and such. Am I nuts for believing in using spoons solely for foods served in liquids? I digress.

Regardless, I have no control over what anyone remembers or associates with my essence.

I have yelled more times than I'd like. I wonder if I can just cease to speak above a whisper if my bad yelling days will be erased? That's a lot of ifs. If is a word I should avoid  for it's easily abused and opens realms of probability. (Not sure if my kids think of me as ever having hair or wearing contact lenses.) I imagine they'll remember being dragged everywhere since we shop as a family except when I'm sleeping in and they go without me to Meijer or Big Lots, which they'll probably remember as happy moments with mom.

With the above in mind, I have tried of late to add value to our stops and errands. Spoiling is involved, but it's nothing over the top.

Today, I bought them scratch off lottery cards. Not sure when it will sink in that I won't do it again, but they'll remember the time I did buy them tickets while on a uneventful trip to Dot's.