Marriage pt. IV

Growing up, the three cousins I knew best weren't related to me by blood. Since my uncle and aunt couldn't have children together, they went through the adoption process. My eldest cousin came from Korea. No idea when her birth actually was since she was reported left on the steps of a police station there. Somehow she ended up in the U.S. and into my uncle's home.

I don't remember life without my cousins, so the fact they look nothing like anyone else in the family never really registered until my aunt was relating how people at her daughter's  college would ask my cousin if she knew Chinese and be confused by her saying she doesn't and that she's not Chinese.

Supposedly some of my ancestors came from Germany, but no one has ever asked me if I know German.

Anyways, though I never thought my uncle and aunt treated their kids differently than other parents, my mom would say that my aunt was more aloof/critical/theoretical regarding parenting since she didn't give birth to them. I always dismissed my mom's notions as a  form of jealousy. My mom's maternal instinct was very much lacking when comparing my upbringing to that of my wife's. Hard to explain but my parents seem comparable to trolls when I relate my childhood. They weren't abusive or anything violent, just  mostly wasted during the week after 6pm while all weekend long. They only left the house to work, attend church , and to buy beer/groceries.

Though I never thought my parents were bad people, I always said to myself I'd never do the things they did that got them to the state of misery together. I can safely say that I'm not the greatest father, but I can't find any flaws in J's mothering other than she's more apt to take the kids to the doctor than I'd like. I feel she worries to much about colds and such but then again my parents rarely took us to the doctor for anything beyond ear infections, excessive coughing, or swollen throats with fevers.