new year

Worked during the Sugar Bowl, and I feel as though I didn't miss much. Using the ESPN app on my phone along with Time Warner cable access...

Meet the teacher

So the first day of school is two days away, K had been ill with a stomach bug, went to urgent care and seems better, but not quite normal. He ate toast and a popsicle since Friday without vomiting it up.
He felt well enough to go to meet the teacher tonight. Meh.
J came home early so I could have napped but I wasn't prepared for that and didn't. Weird day.
My mom called said my dad was being a jerk so he is feeling better from her point of view. Francisco Franco syndrome. Not sure what he's trying to prove. He's just spiteful these days. Swearing at his attending nursing staff and yelling at my mom. He's restrained because he is crazy and acting like a child... pulling at things and other impossibly stupid acts of irrationality.

Tuesday ponderings

My mom called after I fed D breakfast. My dad tried to walk to the restroom without assistance but broke his elbow falling out of bed. He's been in a hospital since May 29th, and he wants to go home... so naturally he refuses to do physical therapy most of the time and can't walk and breaks his dominant hand's elbow. He thinks my mom can care for him when a hospital can't. I'm so mad at him.
I understand his desire to be out of the hospital but he's irrational to think he can go home now. He's a danger to himself and to those around him... for he thinks he can drive.
Suicide is a selfish endeavor, and I wouldn't be surprised if my dad would pursue it if given the opportunity.

Monday, reflected

So Robin Williams kills himself and the internet ceases to move ahead?
Meh. Suicides should be forgotten and left alone. They chose their end, why bother them anymore?
My clock is fast. I awoke thinking it later than it was because it was set fast. Throwing breakers to see which was wired to dw was adventurous on Thursday. Regardless, dw wasn't a thing squared today given the family outing to Magic Castle.
Felt horridish early with back issues from work... I'm getting old. So much to do, but I'm not in the mood to do such and what not.

Magic Castle Monday

Hopefully, I will awake and partake willfully at Magic Castle as we are going to take advantage of half price Monday.
I hope to get started on fixing my dw as well.

cookouts and such

Normally, I don't do cookouts, but Jess was adament of my being welcome back in 2012, so I went. Awkward not knowing people aside from Jess while everyone else knows Jess from work or from the neighborhood, thus know a handfull of people. Jess has two daughters, one is about B's age. B has been to all three of the Schmidt's Fests I have attended because she likes playing with other girls. I treat the occassion like going to the park. It gives me a focus away from mingling with strangers.
I will never feel comfortable at other people's houses, I guess but I need to try for my children's sake. They need not grow up to be social misfits with their lack of exposure of parental social endevours as a lame excuse.

cookout

Back when I worked fulltime as a career center director, I read books on how to obtain employment. Basically, it is more important who you know than what you know and one must already have a job to get a job.
The networking element of the job was foreign to me along with the constant time spent calling graduates to verify they are actively pursuing work in their field of study.
I chose librarianship because people annoy me, so chatting to strangers without clear ROI is hard. I rather farm my networking via knowing people who know people. I know few people well, but I focus upon them enough to keep them relevent to my existance.
I still am annoyed by phones in that I get called "ma'am" a lot. Cincy Bell did a few times even after correcting them. OSU College of Arts and Sciences called asking for $ but Shante called me "Dielynn" and I promptly hungup after stating I'm not interested.
AW I went to a cookout today at guy I know from my hometown who lives a few miles from me now. I got in touch with him a few years back hoping he'd have job leads for my grads, but then for me.
Hmmm...tired. maybe I shall end for tonight.

green grass and such

Whine. First world problems. Yesterday, I was saying as much about being annoyed with myself for caring about a working dishwasher and a weed free lush lawn, but the effected was nullified when the Nook refreshed. Married life makes convenience and appearance matter.
Tired. Getting up before 8am and staying up is beating me down. So much needs done, but D needs me and I'm just blah for much else. I hear her now, gotta go.

annoyed with pursuit of happiness

A green lawn is not a quick thing to have on budget of next to nothing. Too much thatch to consider paying for treatment. Wish I had the means to do it myself without being in pain afterward.

Noisy dishwasher is now a leaking noisy dishwasher. It is six years old, but it feels newer. Not in mood to replace it. Not sure if worthwhile to fix it when parts and labor will probably cost as much as a new one. Again, do it myself route.

Meh.

uninspired

I crunch numbers a lot. Had a mild panic, but uncrunched numbers and things should be fine. J sorta complimented me today or yesterday. I'm a stay at home dad. She said as much. Not sure we could afford my working a real job. More income would be nice, but realities are such that cuts and creative substitutes will take place.
Tired. Annoyed with internet's offerings. I need to find my diversions internally.

obsessions

J doesn't care for the past. She's heard me ramble, so she is good at tuning me out. She remembers stuff because I am the obsessive type. People I don't talk about, she wouldn't know. I don't just meet people, so people I know, I know from someplace and for a reason. So it probably seems suspious when I hang with a friend I have known a while but have little superficially in common.

spooked

No idea why a car was parked in my work's lot as I locked up, but its lights were on and engine running just too closely to my parked car. 1am and chilling in a closed business's lot is weird, and it spooked me.

baby shower invite

Got text from my uncle that I'm invited to my cousin's baby shower. She's ten years younger than me. I've not seen her in over five years.
My cousin isn't married, but is having her second son in two years to the same guy who has a 9 year old son from a high school relationship. I guess she was snooty during her last shower.
My uncle's kids are a mess in that they only care about $ when it comes to inviting people to events, and they don't bother to send a thank you.

adversity and other ponderings

Adversity anniversary, today marks the third year I have been freed from the stress of working for a for-profit college.
Would I still be there if I hadn't been let go? Probably given that I was there as long as I was. I doubt I would have ever felt comfortable given the unrealistic expectations, and I'm not sure if we would have had a third child if I weren't home during the day. We bought the Journey before my being let go, so I think D would have been here, regardless. Just know that I'm happier now than when I was at the old desk job.

one can dream, right?

Beat writer of old who left it to be a columnist for a rival paper now has gone solo. His stuff was free online, but now you have to pay $4 a month for access. I'm cheap, I guess. Seems uppity. I didn't care for his non-beat stuff, but if he touched upon baseball, I read it. His cult following on Twitter surpassed 50k, so he had the sort of backing he figured he needed to pursue his venture. If he snags 10k subscribers his first year, he will be happy. He had 1,000 the day he went live with his site, so all seems good thus far. I just don't care enough to pay, so I unfollowed on Twitter and he returned the favor.
Wish I had the ability to write and have people shill a few bucks a month for my thoughts and observations. I am not normal, so I suppose I could push myself to be more expressive than my restricted public access persona.
Everything in the news boils down to someone being dumb. It's dumb to shoot rockets and not expect consequences. It's dumb to care for your deadbeat neighbor's family when your own kids are going hungry. It's dumb to be concerned about stuff you cannot change as though you can make a difference.
Interestingly, the unaccompanied children immigrating here come from places where abortion is restricted. If their mothers had options during their pregnancies, maybe they'd not need to make a dangerous trek.

crazy talk and remembering James Garner

My dad is nuts. Not sure what his deal is, but he's talking nonsense a lot of late. He hates guns but talked about having one and being on patrol at the border with orders to shoot to kill the other day to my mom. I have nothing against guns. I hate deer, and I believe hunting them is a sane means to control their population. Of course, most people are ignorant of hunting laws if they don't hunt so my sanity may seem in doubt, I guess. AW rifles are what hunters use, so handguns are on the gray area of being reasonable to me. Too many are already in circulation and 3-D printers can probably make usable ones to make a ban on handguns practically stupid. So I guess what I'm saying is that people should consider the illogical elements of gun control and just try to treat what causes shootings to decrease through other means, like algorithms to identify potential shooter types and get involved with their lives in a productive way or send them away to a place to be less dangerous.

I'm not talking prisons. Prisons are a waste of resources. What is gained by locking up people if they are not reformed upon release?

Nursing homes seem to be prisons as well but of a different variety.

AW James Garner was a fave actor of my father, but dad wasn't fazed by his passing. He started talking about Elvis as though Garner was his friend. Weird, my dad hated Elvis, so the correlation is... IDK.

Before my dad got sick with his illness/ CIDP disease, he wasn't a complete a-hole. He was self absorbed, but didn't hate everything with which he disagreed. Now he seems to be confused and angry as though he has nothing else to feel besides his physical pains.

Supposedly he's leaving the hospital this week, but he can't walk and my mom can't exactly care for him. He is confused a lot, so I doubt he's going home.

I just don't know what to feel.

how can something wrong feel so right?

Happiness is relative. Watching a History Channel show about Joseph Smith and such made me wonder about how anyone can be into religion as a pack. I can only extrapolate that they were either lonely or tired of personal liberty.
Surrounding freedom is liberating to some, I guess.

equal pay

So a 4.0 gpa for a female is equal to a 2.0 gpa for male when it comes to earning potential? Read a TP infused article off Fast Company's Twitter account that further implies earning inequality is such a female needs a degree more than a male to earn equal pay.

Think about the sort of guy that gets a 2.0 vs a gal who earns a 4.0 in high school.

Interestingly, pofessional sports pay loads to people that needed to only maintain a 2.0 throughout hs... also seems that most premier male athletes don't have college degree prior to turning pro.

Not good examples? When you cite data, you need to show more than raw stats.

goals and such

I hated growing up. My parents' house was in a lousy part of a lousy town in a lousy part of the state. What defines lousy is perhaps the apathy towards one's surroundings, or when empathy is present and only thoughts of utter dispair arise from within.
Going back, I have yet to say to myself, this isn't lousy. Nowhere is comparable to my current home, and I don't live in the nicest part of a nice town.
I had but one goal, and it was to leave. I don't understand how anyone else stayed.
Nothing is more depressing than knowing people you thought you understood or respected as a peer lack the lowest goal denominator of not willingly living with one's parents in middle age.

liars and nonliars

My sister inlaw has ink on her foot which reads "truth" or something stupid to that effect. Not sure how J is her sister, seeing their personalities are so different. I could say the same about my sibling, but he thinks tattoos are stupid, so perhaps his annoying elements are less permanent. Nothing against tattoos or people who have tattoos, but nothing about ink strikes me as being appealing. I suppose I can see the usefulness to indicate ownership like in times of slavery or for inventory reasons like during Nazi Germany, but nowadays it only makes sense to me for prostitutes to have tattoos, for in moments of undress they may need signage stating "insert here" or "do not smack," for ignorant patrons unfamiliar with coitus or that rough stuff costs extra.
Of course, I jest, for strippers need ink too! Naked women generally look a lot a like in dark, smoke machined rooms, and ink helps take one's eye away from various imperfections such as warts or botched operation scars. Not that I'm a patron of the arts, but rather remembering a time or two humoring a friend by tagging along. I'm too cheap for such pastimes but I observed various decorations upon performers which gave me pause. Sorry, but flames down the thighs makes me think of Johnny Cash's Ring of Fire which makes me think of burning venereal diseases.
Is there an antonym for liar that comes quickly to the mind?
Probably since anything can be contrued as a lie, for everything is subject to change.